Your second-most important
wedding decision
Photos by Tiffany Caldwell Photography
Weddings of all shapes, sizes and forms come packed with a slew of decisions. Venue, food, wardrobe, invisible escape hatch… you name it. You might not be the decision-maker-in-chief for your particular wedding experience, but believe you me — there will be decisions to be made, and you’d better be an active participant when called upon.
The singularly, undisputed top decision is picking your spouse. Ideally, gentlemen, that targeted spouse is amenable to this decision of yours to marry you. That’s pretty important, and it sets the stage for everything else that follows.
But right behind that decision is another of vast import. One that can make or break both the ceremony and your future relationships with those most important to you in your life. Yes, we are talking about your groomsmen, and there are probably more things to consider when making these choices than you might imagine.
Talk to your intended
This is probably a good idea for you to keep in mind for the rest of your life. When you have a major decision to make — financially, spiritually, with your children, what you like on your hot dog — ask your partner. Don’t fight me here. Just ask your partner. You’ll thank me later.
Your bride-to-be may very well already have a plan in mind. Maybe she wants you to include her brother. Or her male best friend. Or she has nine bridesmaids in mind and wants/demands you to come up with nine people as well.
Yes, a marriage is a partnership. Yada yada yada. Do what you’re told. Life will be easier.
Set your expectations
You’ve received your instructions, and you’re ready to pick. Now you have to decide how you want to pick. Do you go for the guys who are going to be the most fun at a bachelor party? The guys who you know are most reliable and will follow through? Family? High-school friends you made a promise to years ago but rarely speak with now?
Each wedding — and each wedding party — is unique unto itself, and yours is no different. But think it through. Decide what you want and plan accordingly. Remember: Those wedding memories are supposed to last a lifetime.
Psst… that means you should pick people you can depend on to do what they’re supposed to do and be where they’re supposed to be.
Consider feelings
If you ran around your whole life with five guys but you’re picking three groomsmen, take into account how those two other guys might feel if you pick the other three and not them. The safe pick then might be to go with relatives — and that gives you a built-in response to your buddies. Or, sit down and talk with all five of them, straight up tell them the math involved in this decision and figure it out.
The less drama you can contribute to your wedding, the better.
